Scout Me In? / by Casey Whitaker


Well you can take the boy out of boy scout but you can’t take the scout out of the boys. Recently Boy Scouts of America announced they will be changing the name of their organization to Scouts BSA  and to begin to include girls into the program. The new slogan? Scout me in hoping to attract new members of the opposite sex. Scout me in?!? How about I “Scout you in” for your the No Means No Badge, okkkurrrrr! There is so much to break down so I’ll do my best.

First problem is the backlash. People are outraged and y’all gotta chill cause this decision was made by men therefore it is correct. And please don’t worry about how this will affect the kids, it’s not about the kids! It is about money. Membership is down and I guess women make up like half the population or something crazy so if we let them up into the treehouse we’ll keep making dat green.

Don’t worry America, we’re gonna let girls join but we’ll still keep the boys and girls separate like usual. That way we can continue to raise little boys who grow up into men who rape. As a teacher, it drives me bonkers the way children naturally separate in class  when if you really think about it, if boys and girls were encouraged to create friendships instead of being forced into the typical gender stereotypes separately maybe I wouldn’t have to date another guy who is simultaneously afraid of my success, has no idea where my clit is and isn’t emotionally available since he still lives at home. Both sexes need to learn how to get in touch with their feminine and masculine sides because we all have both. We need to stop telling girls that they can’t and we need to stop telling the boys that they can.

I mean let’s take a look at the Boy Scout oath and compare it to the Girl Scout law shall we?

Boy Scout Oath:  On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.

Girl Scout Promise and Law: On my honor, I will try:  To serve God and my country, To help people at all times, And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

   I will do my best to be

   honest and fair,

   friendly and helpful,

   considerate and caring, 

   courageous and strong, and

   responsible for what I say and do, 

   and to

   respect myself and others, 

   respect authority,

   use resources wisely,

   make the world a better place, and

   be a sister to every Girl Scout. 

Ok what? Boys just  gotta stay fit and straight (obvi) and  the girls need to WHAT? Smile and be helpful and be caring and be considerate and be responsible and respect authority and straight up--WTF!?! We gotta find some middle ground here. Can we give the boys some more information please? And maybe not train them to think they can’t have emotion? And can we allow the girls to just be humans for a second? Not having to live up to the insane pressure of what it means to be a woman?

So here it is. I think the name change is a good thing. It doesn’t solve the pay gap but maybe my future daughter will know that she can earn the same dumb badges as the boys and if she wants to become an Eagle scout (something as a Girl scout myself I was never able to do) she will.

And final PSA for the BSA,  it’s not enough to just invite us inside but now you actually have to listen. And if you want to attract us into your club maybe ask us what would make it more appealing. Same advice goes to Senators about our reproductive health. It’s not enough to leave the door unlocked, now we want a table. A table where we can all sit around it (maybe on those fun medicine balls that are supposed to be good for your posture) and have a real chat.