The other day I got coffee with a girlfriend and after regaling my story of my 6 year relationship ending over texts it was time for her to respond I prepared myself for some inspirational Pinterest quote I had probably already heard. Something like blah blah you’re stronger than you know blah everything happens for a reason and you deserve happiness blah blah blah. Same thing everyone has told me for the last three months including my new landlord and the clerk at Whole Foods 365. (Side note: I need to stop telling strangers about my struggles) But instead she asked me what happened and I sighed and said “in short, he didn’t want to grow and I have found my light and my voice and I feel sorry that my ambition and drive got too big for him to handle” And she said “never apologize for being a strong fucking woman.” I didn’t know you were such a feminist I said. “Oh I’m not a feminist, I’m just spiritual.”
My sisters, can we talk about this?!? The principles of feminism and spirituality go together like PB & J or Taco Bell and drinking too much. To fully open yourself up to the world and purposefully connect your conscious self with the earth you are accepting that your lady being is worthy enough to be valued and equal with all humans including the opposite sex. The more we set intentions and touch crystals (do what you want but I still think they’re just expensive rocks) or sign up for aerial meditation yoga , that self care and empowerment we give ourselves begins to pour out of us in straight up power that we then in turn can use to lift up other women. When we come to the table centered and strong you can bet your ass we’ll get served the meal we deserve. Whether you are Buddhist or Christian or just like doing hallucinations so you can talk to your dead cat, the practices you have made part of your routine fuel your spirit and you are inadvertently telling the world that you value your well being and thus value yourself.
And can we please stop acting like the word feminist is a bad word? I have this bomb ass shirt from Feminist Apparel that says Feminist as Fuck on it. I typically only wear it to the airport cause why not and most people love it. All of the sudden TSA is letting me keep my shoes on and giving me a bunch of high fives while sticking their own weed stash in my bag for the trip. But one time a dad and his daughter walked by and the father said something about how my shirt was inappropriate. I said to him there are two “F-Words” on my shirt and I guarantee the four letter word she has already heard from you but the other F word I hope she learns. I know society has told us we have to be pretty and silent but we just can’t afford to do that anymore. If this past political year has taught us anything it’s time for all of us to switch tactics. And if that means we have to be called bitches and maybe get our hair chopped off and regrets the bangs so be it. (Damn, I made it about me again) Like most things in life I think a little over correcting is necessary in order to find that sweet middle ground.
And if you are truly “spiritual” and “enlightened” then let’s all start acting like it. I think the greatest power of inner reflection and care is being so aware and let’s say woke enough to see those around you. Empathize. Listen. We can still create a place for women in our world. Was I too angry? Sorry. Wait, fuck that. I am done being sorry.
Self care is selfish and that’s ok. Take time for yo self! By doing so you will be that much happier and prepared for your career and that much more present in your personal relationships. Live for the now and breath like yoga has taught you. Feel grateful for all that your body and mind can do and never apologize for wanting more for yourself and for your community. Tell your pals what works for you, you never know who you will inspire.
Finally stay positive. I think that’s the most important cross over from Spirituality that can fuel our Feminism. Of course we’re angry witches and vocally feisty l but before I become hopeless, namaste positive. I am going to accept the current state of our country and look to the future not backwards. And as for me and my tragedy of a break up, I will be just fine because I did and do the work and the only person who can take away or give value to me is myself. (cue Beyonce’s Me,Myself, and I song and cut to me running through a field with no pants and just my feminist as fuck t shirt on top, donald duck style throwing glitter everywhere.)