Inside the Mind of an Improviser / by Casey Whitaker

Dear Old Casey,

I wish you could see us now. There is still so much to do, but I promise—life is better. We have changed so much. Thinking back to how sad we were and how we took every little thing personally is kind of laughable these days. We have come a long way (not physically; we still love elevators more than stairs), and I feel like we were reborn.

Because we did the work. We’re younger than ever, like mentally we’re the 21-year-old Casey who thought she could do anything. Our confidence is at an all-time high, and it’s bleeding into our work and our relationships. No longer do we let others or our own negative thoughts bring us down. If we were a color, it would be yellow. A bright yellow that can never be dimmed.

We are powerful again.

We are at peace with our present state and hopeful for the future.

We are magic.

We are brilliant.

We are affecting those around us in a positive way.

We are open to new things.

We are resilient.

We know who we are.

We believe again, and I just want you to know these things so you can understand that it will get better. We are blessed with a beautiful life, and I know you are sad now— questioning your purpose, afraid to fail—but I promise you,we won’t fail.

Own the mistakes; own who we are… even if it’s not who you thought we would be. I love you. I forgot how much. I stopped listening to you when you spoke to me, but I will never make that mistake again.

We always had everything we needed, but we stopped listening to the “yes” voice.

We don’t require the approval of others.

We only need each other.

We are back and better than ever.

We are in control again.

We can’t stop smiling.

I promise to never desert you again. The journey here was hard, but never impossible. Nothing is impossible. I am proud of us. I am thankful for the help we got along the way. I am proud of us for asking for it.  I am hopeful again. I know there is more for us out there. I am different than before. Oprah would approve.

Love,

Casey Today

Casey Whitaker is a member of The Second City Touring Company. She can also be seen performing improv, solo sketch and stand-up at The Playground, Paper Machete and Zanies Chicago. Follow Casey on Twitter at @CaseyHitaker or visit her website at www.caseywhitaker.com.